The Salesby5 Blog

Happy Tuesday! Last week I premiered my “To-Don’t List” and discussed the first item, don’t interrupt. Item #2, don’t assume, is just as important. It’s very easy to make this mistake at the office and in dating. “Always deal with fact. Never assume” is at the very top of Salesby5’s Core Values. On our July 1st blog post, You Are Responsible for Your Own Orgasm, we emphasized that one of the top ways to de-motivate others in the work place is by assuming! Also when selling a product/service, don’t assume that people care. Hope they do, but ask questions!

Don’t Assume…

i. …a woman you think is a 10 also rates herself as a 10. I’ve found that men often don’t approach women because they think she is a 10 and they rate themselves as a 4 or 5. Gentlemen, this is not the case; let the lady decide for herself! She may be nervous and think you are a 10, go up to her and kindly introduce yourself. Get a feel for her personality and see if she is someone you care know better. Yes this is a risk, and it may not go perfectly, but you’ll never catch a fish if you don’t make a cast.

ii. …she cares about money or material items. Ask her questions, and more importantly listen to her answers. Don’t be thinking of a response instead of listening to what she is actually saying; learn as much as possible about who she really is. This helps prevent you from un-selling yourself by overselling and shows your sincerity in getting to know her, rather than just “closing-the-deal.” This sounds so simple, but men talking all about themselves, their money, and material goods, happens all too often, and it’s a commodity. Having an overt benefit and being different from other guys is free; it doesn’t require money or a flashy car.

iii. …her hobbies are your hobbies. Ask questions and find out what her interests are before assuming that she likes the same things as you. For some reason I get approached by men that feel the need to talk about their “fast sports car,” when in fact I am fascinated by driving big trucks and heavy machinery like backhoes, tractors, and bulldozers.

Between posts, you can also find Kya on Twitter.

In previous posts, we mention that most successful entrepreneurs know that they have to market, but many don’t know where to start or how to cut through the clutter on their “to-do” lists. With many messages in your head in a day from “I need to pay the mortgage” to “finish the Powerpoint,” we have too much clutter. Jim Collins talks about the importance of a stop-doing list in “Good to Great.” He stated that one of the commonalities of the companies who were able to propel themselves from being just good to being great is that they all looked at what they were currently doing that they needed to stop doing. People subconsciously will remember what not to do because the list doesn’t compare to the clutter of the overwhelming amount of “to-do’s” they are trying to remember. In dating, the same applies. Today I will discuss my #1 on my “To-Don’t” List of six things NOT to do in dating.

“TO-DON’T” #1: Interrupt

Men, having permission before the you approach a woman for the first time will help prevent you from un-selling yourself right off the bat. You will know to not interrupt by the use/observation of non-verbal communication.

Examples:
I.   Don’t interrupt: If you see her at restaurant having dinner or drinks with another man. This is just rude.  NO EXCEPTIONS.

II.   Don’t interrupt: If she is avoiding any kind of eye contact with you. There’s a difference from her not seeing you and her completely avoiding making eye-contact with you. This means you are not invited to come introduce yourself to her. This may be that she has tunnel vision on her BlackBerry. She doesn’t want to be bothered and is not interested in mingling at that time. She may be trying to put out a fire at work by sending a very important email to her boss or customer (this happening at an inconvenient time is inevitable) or she may just be anxiously catching up on her unread Viigo posts. Approaching during this time will make her feel annoyed and obligated to talk to you. Obligation this early on is not a good sign.

On the contrary: She’s sitting at the bar in a restaurant unaccompanied by a gentleman, and she’s casually looking around scanning the crowds. If you are interested in her, and you aren’t in the vicinity of her “scan-zone,” nonchalantly relocate so that you are. Not too close. I recommend sitting slightly off center, across the bar giving her easy access to make eye contact. Don’t stare! Once she does, if she continues to make eye-contact with you knowing you are still there, you are getting warmer. Now once the eye contact continues and she acknowledges you with a smile and nod, after about a minute or so, walk over to her and make your introduction. “Hi, I’m _____ would you mind if I joined you for a few minutes? It’s okay to say yes.” Keep in mind: the few minutes may turn out being much longer, depending on the chemistry between you two.

Body language and non-verbal communication is listening, but with your eyes. 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues. Read her body language and listen.

Check back on Tuesday’s for Kya’s dating and sales tips.

Photo by Tony the Misfit

So how bad is it?  We recently met a very nice person with a top New York ad agency at CES in Las Vegas. He had a card he was proud of and when we asked why, he said it was because the designers had worked very hard and come up with a "less is more" design. It had his name and company name.  That’s it.  If you wanted to see his website, find out what he did (after you quickly forgot), or call him, you had to do work. Someone thought this was brilliant.

Look at your card. Does it tell the recipient what benefits them? Most do not and this can be an advantage! Most people do not look at business cards when you hand them over. It is rude, in my opinion, as I always review them when I receive them.  I like to find a benefit for myself, my clients or my vendors.

So check out your business card.  Is the back blank or do you have bullet points with the benefits you provide?  Does it have your website or blog on there?  You have a 70% greater chance of success and profitability with clarity in your message.  Sales is like dating, if someone wants to date you, they make it easy to be found and contacted.

Remember, people often misplace or file business cards, then find them weeks, months or years later.  If you make it easy for people to remember what you do and how you benefit them, you have a greater chance of having SalesBy5.